Sadly this is not a film about an entire island full of rasta-haired vagina-mouthed alien badasses. Nope, this is a film about an entire island full of two or three unconvincingly costumed alien lizard-men things.

The not very menacing alien menaces spend most of the running time poorly attacking people and wandering around with very little to do other than try to look frightening (and failing). The effects are piss-poor though that needn’t matter so much in a film like this. Bad effects are pretty much a staple of low-budget horror and can easily be forgiven in light of any other aspect of the film standing out or being anywhere near interesting. It’s just a pity that in Predator Island there are no aspects that manage to be anything other than laughable.

The overall premise of the film is very light-weight though even this could have been redeemed. Perhaps if the director had tried to establish any sort of atmosphere or develop any tension whatsoever the throway plot might have just about held water. As it is, the action sequences fall flat and the expository dialogue scenes are almost painfully dull. Even the climax to the film which should have been apocalyptic in scale and impact doesn’t make it much further than soporific. The script must shoulder an equal portion of blame however and it is full of clichés, bad dialogue and rip offs of other films. No effort has been put into presenting any original ideas, every scene is just a re-hash of some other movie. It’s a real shame that films like this are even made anymore.

It would be nice to find something positive to say about such a dead duck and in truth, the group of interchangeable, instantly forgettable twenty-somethings who make up most of the cast do a fair job of trying to take it all seriously. They certainly aren’t the best acting talent in the world but in all fairness there’s far worse out there being given better material.

There is very little that can really be said for a film which so unashamedly takes every cliché available to humanity and utterly drains them of whatever meagre and wretched life they had left in them. This is not a film, this is an anti-film. There is nothing here to illicit anything but drowsiness. It should come with a warning not to operate heavy machinery whilst watching it, (which come to think of it is probably good advice for any film actually) the point is that Predator Island is just plain boring. And rubbish

Rating: 2/10