The current trend of remaking every horror film that anybody ever paid money to see is in most cases a cynical exercise in utter unoriginality which serves only to enrage fans of the original and make the studios massive pots of cash with the absolute minimum of effort. Some films, on the other hand, are all but screaming out to be remade but this time with real special effects, tolerable acting and ummm…maybe a script which doesn’t come across like it was written by a drunken lunatic on a Kettamine binge. Spookies is one such film that would surely produce a truly great horror movie if it were to be remade – not because it is good but because it is so spectacularly bad.

There is so much wrong with this film that it is difficult to know where to start, virtually every aspect of it is flawed to the point of hilarity. This is not hugely surprising when its origins are taken into account. Once upon a time Spookies was actually a different project called Twisted Souls. After a series of setbacks and legal complications it was scrapped until it was decided in a move of unparalleled genius that half of the footage for Twisted Souls would be supplemented with entirely new and separate footage using none of the original actors, characters or even storyline. As a result of this, Spookies is an uneven mish-mash of incomprehensible nonsense. The two-storylines-compressed-into-one gambit works a little better than it should but a lot less than it must in order to even approach any level of coherency.

The story (such as it is) involves an old sorcerer’s attempts at reviving his dead wife - plot line 1; for some reason this means that he must kill a bunch of people who wander into a haunted mansion using the large collection of monsters who reside there - plot line 2. Clearly all of this makes about as much sense as a man with no teeth trying to explain quantum physics through a large mouthful of seaweed but this does not mean to say that there is no fun to be had here. The acting, lighting and directing are all typically low budget 1980’s fare and their camp naff-ness has an enjoyable charm of its own but what really makes this film special are the title creatures themselves, the Spookies.

There are such a variety of different and completely individual monsters on show here that it is difficult to not be impressed. The effects with which they are realised are actually unusually good if at times a little rickety but what does that matter when you have muck-men rising from the ground and farting incessantly as they attack? Or the woman who turns into a giant spider and sucks out some poor schmo’s brains? Or the large statue of the Grim Reaper complete with scythe that comes to life? Or any one of the plentiful supply of weird and wonderful beasties that lie in wait for our badly acted heroes? As well as those mentioned, there are demons, imps, an odd cat/man thing and masses of zombies wandering the graveyard outside the mansion. The monsters alone make this film well worth watching.

One can only imagine what this film would look like if it were remade today. Even with a low budget, this could be a great and gory monstershow of ridiculous proportions. Until that film is made however, you could do a lot worse than giving Spookies a shot.

Rating: 5/10

Review By Matt Compton