The Total Bastard Database

The greatest killers, madmen, monsters and maniacs in horror movie history.

SPOILER WARNING!!

All entries in the TBDB are likely to carry spoliers so if you ain't seen the movie they relate to don't read 'em!

DEADITE

AKA:

Various

WERE BASTARDS IN:

The Evil Dead, The Evil Dead 2, Army of
Darkness

SO WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY?

Deadites are demons who have taken over human bodies and corrupted them. They take several different forms
and seem to be able to change their appearance on a whim from normal human to horrible monster thing. They are the Evil Dead of the film’s title and are also able to do a few other entertaining party-pieces like levitating for example, or possessing and animating objects like lamps, stuffed deer heads and, unfortunately for one young lady, a tree…

Deadites are essentially entities in a Lovecraftian vein who, aeons ago, ruled the world but were banished from it and now want it back. Their power is seemingly bound to an ancient book called the Necromonicron (se below).

THAT'S NOT A KNIFE:

Nope, it certainly isn’t. Deadites are your more basic monstrous bad guy and as such tend to use mainly their natural assets of big old claws and jagged rotting teeth. They’re also pretty handy with a pencil, admittedly that doesn’t sound too lethal but when said pencil is jammed into your Achilles’ Tendon and twisted around you might have other ideas. No match for a chainsaw and boomstick of course.

WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY??!??:

Being the physical incarnation of the Evil Dead they want your basic demon wish-list of dominion over the world and painful death to all living humans. Fairly standard stuff.

SO WHAT'S THE DAMAGE?

The first Evil Dead film didn’t achieve its king of video nasties reputation for nothing and even today still lives up to the hype. The Deadites are a nasty bunch and despite their butchery and bloody murder of everyone (except a certain young man by the name of Ash) their most infamous moment was when a possessed tree raped a young woman.

IT'S A MILLION TO ONE CHANCE BUT IT MIGHT JUST WORK...

A temporary soloution to a Deadite problem is to beat it, bash it or chop it up into little pieces and beat them too. Of course if you are not Bruce Campbell’s character, Ash – a man capable of absorbing more physical violence than Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed combined - this might be difficult. The best option if, like most people, you’re not him is to find the pages of the book that resurrected the pesky spirits in the first place, The Necromonicron, or Book of the Dead as it is also known (bound in human skin and inked in blood you know).

As well as being able to summon the evil dead the book also contains the incantations necessary for opening a portal in reality which will suck the evil back from whence it came. This may however have the unfortunate side-effect of pulling you with it and stranding you in a bizarre medieval wasteland.

WORDS OF WISDOM:

“We’ll swallow your soul!”

By Matt Compton

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