The Total Bastard Database

The greatest killers, madmen, monsters and maniacs in horror movie history

SPOILER WARNING!!

All entries in the TBDB are likely to carry spoliers so if you ain't seen the movie they relate to don't read 'em!

DEATH

AKA:

Never seen

Was a bastard in:

Final destination, Final Destination 2, Final
Destination 3

So who the Hell is he?

The Grim Reaper, the personification of mortality, old Father Time, the keeper of the sands of life. You know...Death.

The one horror movie bastard we are all gonna meet one day. Though I'd be very surprised if it turned out that when you die a bony fellow in a cloak turned up with a bit of outdated agricultural equipment to collect your mortal soul but then again it's a funny old world.

In the Final Destination films however Death is never seen in person, we only see the effects of his tampering.

That’s not a Knife...

Though according to legend the Grim reaper utilises a bloody big scythe thie force of nature in the Final Destination movies is not quite as theatrical. He uses whatver is convenient at the time really, usually this is something very painful, very surprising and very, very messy. Fire escape ladders are a good example - especially when driven through the eye. Of course nothing beats a good old speeding bus for sheer splat! appeal as one luckless character discovers much to their companions sudden blood-all-over-their face surprise.

Why, for the love of God Why?!?

Maybye Death is getting old or something (well he has been around since the dawn of time so cut him a break!) because he seems to be getting more and more careless. He goes to all the trouble of planning an elaborate and spectacular accident in which multiple lives will be lost and then some pesky teens go and have a premonition and escape the carnage just in time. Now that's just not playing fair is it? Well that's the way ol' bony face sees it as he then does his best to re-address the balance and make those who were supposed to die horribly die even more horribly.

So what’s the damage?

Well considering that everybody who has ever lived is a victim of Death I'd say that the damage is pretty much off the scale on this one

It’s a million to one chance but it might just work

I'm afraid the chances of cheating death are considerably lower than a million to one - alot closer to zero I'd say. If he wants you, he's going to get you sooner or later and there ain't nothing you can do about it.

Words of wisdom

"You may be a king or a street sweeper but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper!”

...actually that was in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey wasn't it?

By Matt Compton

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