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The Total Bastard Database

The greatest killers, madmen, monsters and maniacs in horror movie history.

SPOILER WARNING!!


All entries in the TBDB are likely to carry spoliers so if you ain't seen the movie they relate to don't read 'em!

 
 

GHOULIES

AKA:

All the ghoulies were brought to full life by the mysterious and
wonderful art of incredibly basic puppetry.

Was a bastard in:

Ghoulies 1- 4

So who the hell are they?

The Ghoulies are a bunch of rather unpleasant, rather badly animated little demons who rampaged their way through 4 fondly remembered but actually pretty awful films in the 80’s. Despite giving their name to the series they don’t actually play a main part until the sequel where they terrorise the ghost house in a travelling carnival.

mrs ganush

They go on from there to causing their own special kind of mayhem at a college in the third film until finally being practically excised from their own film in Ghoulies 4 which perplexingly replaces the slimy little monstrous puppets with two midgets dressed in bad troll costumes.

The Ghoulies are Hell spawn summoned by the usual unwise tinkerings with pentagrams and black magic. Slightly more unusual however is the fact that for some reason they use toilet bowls as the mystical conduit by which they reach this plane. This is never explained or justified but it does mean that the promotional art can feature the almost iconic image of the little green ghoulie rising from a toilet – probably the main reason these films.

Aside from the toilet dwelling green baldy there are several other ghoulies including a cat-like thing, a bat shaped thing and a sort of goat type thing. All of them are thoroughly evil and all of them are thoroughly unconvincing puppets.

That’s not a knife…

Though equipped with all the usual claws and fangs you would expect from a demon (albeit one that is the size of a cabbage patch doll) these guys use anything at their disposal which for some reason always seems to be horrifically violent things they just happen to fins lying around like scythes, flick knives, straight razors and umm…a barrel of industrial strength acid. You know, just normal stuff.

 

Why, for the love of God, Why??!!?

Being straight from the depths of Hell (I wonder if all the demons there are only 2 Ft tall?) these little rascals don’t really need much more motivation than that they are just really really evil.

So what’s the damage?

Even though they have four films named after them the Ghoulies only actually get round to killing people in two of them. In fact, the trolls that take the place of the ghoulies in the final film go around helping people for some inexplicable reason. Still, in the two films they do kill people in they manage to cause a fair amount of carnage considering their somewhat… diminutive stature. One particularly memorable kill has the ghoulies utilising the ol’ pit and the pendulum style swinging scythe blade. Cool.

It’s a million to one chance but it might just work…

It's hard to kill a Ghoulies what with them being hell spawn and all but the best way for some reason seems to be to summon a much bigger demon which for reasons unkown will lumber after the much quicker, more agile and altogether more capable of running away ghoulies and stuff them into its big rubbery mouth. Well, it seemed to work in Ghoulies 2.

Words of wisdom:

For the first two films the little bastards simply cackle and growl but unfortunately they are given voices by the third film which they utilise to crack wise in the most painfully unfunny way possible. So unfunny in fact that I’m not even gonna repeat it here. That’ll teach ‘em.

 

By Matt Compton

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