The Total Bastard Database

The greatest killers, madmen, monsters and maniacs in horror movie history.

SPOILER WARNING!!

All entries in the TBDB are likely to carry spoliers so if you ain't seen the movie they relate to don't read 'em!

NAZI ZOMBIES

AKA:

Ørjan Gamst and many stunt men.

Were bastards in:

Dead Snow (Død Snø)

So what the Hell are they?...

The clue's in the title really. They're zombies who also happen to be nazis for gaddsakes!!

These particular 3rd Reich rotters are led by the enigmatic Colonel Herzog and were stationed in a small mountain town in Norway during WW2. Being nazis and therefore rather unpleasant people they weren't well liked by the townsfolk.

This situation was only exacerbated when they nicked all their gold and shot a load of them in the head. The residents of the town turned on their oppressors and ambushed them in the night. Wily old Herzog however managed to escape with a bunch of his troops  and hide out in the mountains. The trouble with Norwegian mountains is that they are not really that habitable and the right wing bastards all died. Of course that wasn’t the end of them because for some inexplicable reason they were brought back to life as the undead by their sheer evil. They have stayed in the mountains all this time apparently guarding the treasure they stole from the townspeople.

That’s not a knife…

Unlike their more traditional zombie brethren these guys are soldier zombies and have retained their weapons and their ability to use them. They seem to favour their bayonets over all else however. Great news for gore fans. Or bayonet fans too come to think of it.

Why, for the love of God why?!!?!

It is all a little confusing really and ultimately just doesn’t really matter but it’s got something to do with the enduring nature of evil and Nazi gold and stuff. Best to just go with it really in these situations I reckon…

So what’s the damage?

Although they are pretty fearsome and look very dapper in their frozen nazi uniforms they aren’t actually that effective. They do kill pretty much everybody they meet admittedly but they certainly suffer more than their fair share of casualites too. That’s mainly because of the good sense of their victims to fight back with chainsaws – zombie kryptonite you know.

It’s a million to one chance but it might just work…

If you can’t find a chainsaw use an axe, or bayonet,or hand grenade or massive snow mobile-mounted machine gun. In fact pretty much anything will do with these guys – especially hanging them off a cliff by their intestines. They like that.

Words of wisdom

“Grrr” - Boring bastards.

By Matt Compton

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