The Total Bastard Database

The greatest killers, madmen, monsters and maniacs in horror movie history.

SPOILER WARNING!!

All entries in the TBDB are likely to carry spoliers so if you ain't seen the movie they relate to don't read 'em!

THE PALE MAN

AKA:

Doug Jones

Was a bastard in:

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006 Guillermo Del Toro)

So who the Hell is he?...

The Pale Man is a mysterious sort of fellow. He has very little screen time so we don’t get a chance to learn much about him but like the greatest villains he leaves a big impression.
As his name suggests he is indeed a pale man, though perhaps man is pushing the boundaries of truth a little. He is a withered emaciated creature with few features aside from mouth and nose holes on his blank and ghastly head. His eyes are removable but when in place

Here he sits motionless and catatonic, a sumptuous feast laid before him. He’s not interested in the fruit and meats that are on the table though, no, no, no. The portraits and paintings that line the walls are all renditions of the creature feasting upon children and babies. If this isn’t enough evidence to suggest the Pale Man’s less than sociable eating preferences maybe the large pile of decaying children’s shoes sitting in the corner will convince.

That’s not a knife…

Nope, he’s another one of those beasties that uses his natural assets to do his baby killing. Teeth and claws all the way here.

Why, for the love of God why?!!?!

Who knows? He is a bit of an enigma, though it seems to be something to do with the table of food. If anyone eats from the table, the creature wakes up. And that aint a good thing.

So what’s the damage?

Well, onscreen damge is limited to a couple of fairies which the pale man catches and rather nastily bites in half. If the paintings and shoes are anything to go by though we’re talking lots of dead kiddies.

It’s a million to one chance but it might just work…

Again, the film doesn’t tell us enough to know how to stop him. Perhaps it’s best to just not start him in the first place. But then again people in fairy tales are always suckers for big tables of food aren’t they?

Words of wisdom

“Rarrgggh”

By Matt Compton

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