The Total Bastard Database

The greatest killers, madmen, monsters and maniacs in horror movie history.

SPOILER WARNING!!

All entries in the TBDB are likely to carry spoliers so if you ain't seen the movie they relate to don't read 'em!

THE TALL MAN

AKA:

Kurt Russell

Was a bastard in:

Death Proof

So who the hell is he?

Well, he’s a stuntman, though probably not in anything you’ve actually seen. A fact that seems to cause him some distress, especially if you are part of a gaggle of hot young women he is currently stalking. You see aside from being a stuntman of negligible success Stuntman Mike is a psychopath, actually to be fair he’s a lot of a psychopath. He’s also quite the misogynist as he only seems to prey on the aforementioned gaggles of hot young women.

That’s not a knife…

One of the things that make Stuntman Mike so interesting (other than the fact that he is written by Quentin Tarantino and as such speaks in that special way all of Tarantino’s children do) is the fact that his weapon is his car. Being a stuntman, Mike has been able to fully custom his Dodge challenger to make it 100% death proof which as he tells one clueless victim means he could drive it into a brick wall at 100mph if he so wished. Of course not being a total moron and just a psycho he doesn’t drive it into a wall but head on into the car carrying the hot young women. At 100mph.

Why, for the love of God, Why??!!?

It’s hard to say really as he doesn’t really give much clue to his motivations. An investigating Sheriff speculates that it is in order to ‘shoot his goo’ however. A particularly lovely way of saying he does it for sexual kicks.

So what’s the damage?

A heavily reinforced muscle car driving into your vehicle at full speed does some spectacularly nasty things to you as evidenced by the gleefully horrific scene which depicts this event in graphic tyre-into-face, leg-severing detail.

It’s a million to one chance but it might just work…

If you’re faced with a psychotic stuntman in a Dodge Challenger, what’s the best thing to do? If your answer is to round up a gang of hot female stunt drivers in a Dodge Charger to chase him down and soundly whoop his ass well, you’d be just about right.

Words of wisdom:

“There’s few things as appealing as a bruised ego on a beautiful angel”

By Matt Compton

COMMENTS