The Total Bastard Database

The greatest killers, madmen, monsters and maniacs in horror movie history.

SPOILER WARNING!!

All entries in the TBDB are likely to carry spoliers so if you ain't seen the movie they relate to don't read 'em!

THE DENTIST

AKA:

Dr. Alan Feinstone

Was a bastard in:

The Dentist, The Dentist Two

So who the Hell is he?

Dr Alan Feinstone is a rich, successful dentist who simply delights in making peepers gleam, that is until he discovers
that his wife is having an affair. After that his emotions start to get the better of him during surgery and all that time spent studying dentistry becomes time wasted as the rule book flies right out of the window.

That’s not a Knife...

Dr. Alan is obviously quite handy with a drill and a suction tube and his skills really have to be admired as he doesn’t even require an assistant and he can do things that most dentists wouldn’t even dream of (although there is a reason for that).

Why, for the love of God Why?!?

As already mentioned it’s a wife’s infidelity which tips Dr. Feinstone over the edge, although why he does not simply beat her/kill her/apply for a divorce is not really explained, eventually her time for a check-up comes around and it’s up to the police to save her from her own demented dentist/husband.

So what’s the damage?

The pain that Dr. Alan inflicts is both physically and mentally damaging to the viewer. Viewers who do not feel repelled by the unrelenting, close up footage of such dental devastation would do well to find themselves a job in the burgeoning international torture industry. If teeth count as individual victims in this movie then the body count could rival that of Commando’s. They are smashed, twisted, yanked out of their sockets and worse of all needles are thrust into gums to previously unattained depths.
What adds insult to injury is that Dr. Feinstone has nothing personal against the majority of his victims, they are merely in the wrong place (the dentist’s chair), at the wrong time (the time of their previously scheduled dental appointment) and

their dentist just happens to be a cuckold gone cray-zee. One would hope that if one was to be mercilessly tortured then one would have had to do something pretty fucking atrocious to whoever might inflict such pain, but these people have done nothing but pay this man for his services and what do they get? They get mutilated and literally die because of the pain. It seems a fairly redundant point to make but if you have a fear of dentists anyway then this film is probably best avoided.

It’s a million to one chance but it might just work

Dr. Alan doesn’t have any special powers, his saving grace seems to be an incredibly dim-witted police force. Eventually the coppers begin to suspect that they are not investigating the murders of disparate individuals linked by the fact that they are all sickeningly orally disfigured but that a dentist might be responsible for the violent, oral-based murders of several disparate individuals linked by the fact that they all visited the same dentist, although this seems unlikely, the subsequent investigation leads to Dr. Alan’s downfall and he is subdued by mere handcuffs. In the sequel he is released from prison, which again, due to the nature of his crimes, seems unlikely.

Words of wisdom

“Open Wide... This won’t hurt a bit.”

By STEPHEN HEPPLESTONE

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